Have you ever met someone who looked so charismatic that you were blown away by their confident presence? Or have you ever felt envious of someone for having an impressive persona which makes them the crowd’s favourite? Even if the answer is a ‘no’ to both of these questions, you might have wondered what makes someone charming and what doesn’t! After all, a significant part of growing up and navigating the adult world has been discovering ourselves. And that discovery has not been pleasant for all of us.
Some of us still struggle with confidence and self-esteem issues, wherein we don’t like how we carry ourselves. While in an ideal world, this wouldn’t matter as what you are on the inside is what counts. The truth is that on the personal and professional fronts, we have to put some effort into how we appear to the outside world. Because how we are perceived significantly affects our relationships and social encounters.
For example, someone perceived as socially inept won’t really be appreciated for their gestures. Even if they go out of their way to buy a birthday cake online for someone, take on additional work in the office, or get their crush something, their impact on someone will not be proportional to the weight of their actions. Now keep the situation the same but replace this person with the most loved colleague on your office floor or your enigmatic friend, and the response will be completely opposite.
So, cultivating impactful habits is not to change ourselves and become fake but to elevate ourselves to become effortlessly captivating. And don’t mistake it as becoming ‘likeable’ or a ‘people pleaser’, but as improving yourself to achieve what you are capable of. If this is something that piques your interest, keep on reading.
Become knowledgeable about something
The bank of knowledge you carry helps you form better opinions and become a good conversationalist. No one in this world remains unimpressed by smart people who are masters at what they do. So, invest in your skills to become one, not just to keep up appearances but also to boost your confidence. When you become knowledgeable, you also become dependable and, to some extent, irrefutable in social settings when your image as one spreads. The skill you take up or the knowledge you gather doesn’t even have to be related to your job.
Don’t do things half-heartedly
Be it something as small as a present for your loved ones or completing a work project, don’t put lukewarm effort into what you do. Yes, slip-ups can happen, and not everything deserves 100% effort from your end, but there is a difference between prioritising and deliberately half-assing. If you are going to ask someone for professional help, at least learn more about them before you reach out to them. Before going to your manager for your queries, understand whether the answer is already available or not. Basically, do your due diligence because nobody adores someone who doesn’t.
Don’t be a ‘yes’ man
Don’t butt heads with people just for the sake of it but also don’t become a lackey to someone. If you have opinions about something, share them publicly rather than nodding your head to others. Also, don’t agree with every request that people have for you, as it can quickly make you seem like a pushover to others. If you want to be treated like a charismatic leader, you must act like one through your actions. And being known as an underling to someone is not the way to do that.
Be accepting of criticism
When you react negatively and loudly to constructive criticism, you paint a bad picture of yourself. And this is something that many people deal with as they associate their self-worth with how others view them. When, in fact, contrary to our beliefs, our capabilities don’t get challenged or hampered by feedback. This can be tricky for someone to navigate for two reasons. Either they have an unnecessarily high sense of faith in their skills, or they have no confidence at all in their abilities. Both of which can be equally harmful. So, one should learn to look at their work objectively where someone’s work-related comment doesn’t make you extremely angry or upset. When you can keep your cool against criticism, you immediately become ten times more attractive.
Be a good listener
Any effective conversation or discussion needs the involvement of two or more people. So, imagine how obnoxious someone appears when they keep on talking about themselves without allowing others to speak. Even if you don’t mean it, sidelining others to make yourself the centre of the conversation is wrong. Not only does it discount the presence of other people involved, but it also makes you look self-centred. Rather be a good listener who is not threatened when others are in the limelight.
Being a good listener is crucial when you are in a relationship, as getting gifts, flowers, and cakes from the best cake shops in Gurgaon, Noida, Mumbai, Hyderabad, Delhi, or wherever you reside won’t be enough. Ensure you are mindful of your partner’s likes and dislikes, and listen to and understand them.
These are the few habits you can imbibe to become an honourable person in your life, someone others look up to. Ultimately, others’ opinion of you is just one aspect of it, when in fact, you are doing it for yourself. Remember, self-improvement is an ongoing journey and not a final destination. And becoming charismatic comes as a byproduct of it.