It can be an emotionally overwhelming experience when you come to know that your partner has cheated on you. First comes shock and disbelief, followed by a mixed bag of pain, anger, sorrow and other negative emotions. If you have been faithful to your partner and have trusted them, their act of cheating can leave you shattered. Some people take months or even years to recover from such events.
Some psychologists say that forgiving a cheating partner can help reduce the suffering. Forgiveness can also give a second chance to the relationship. While this sounds good in theory, is it even possible to forgive someone who cheated on you. Well, here are some things you need to consider to understand whether or not you should forgive your cheating partner.
Don’t think defensively – You should not bow down just because you want to salvage the relationship. Your decisions should be that of a strong person and not someone who is just trying to survive. If your decisions are based on fear and worry, it may only bring temporary relief.
Is the cheating habitual – You need to find out if your partner has a habit of cheating or if it was a one-off incident. Although the hurt may be largely the same in both cases, at least a one-off incident stands a better chance of being forgiven.
Won’t it happen again – Most people think that forgiveness may be perceived as a sign of weakness. This can be true if the cheating partner is conceited and believes that they can get away with anything they do. Thinking about a future with such an individual is anyways a wrong idea. Forgiveness can be accepted by an individual who is equally strong, has realized their mistake and is willing to make amends.
How did you know – If you got the info through someone else other than your partner, it may be a sign of unfaithfulness. On the other hand, if your partner has made a direct confession to you, it may reveal their guilt. It also shows that they are urging you to forgive them in a sincere manner.
Forgiveness can work, but it cannot be applied to all relationships. Every relationship is distinct and there are several other variables such as financial dependency, kids, societal and cultural norms, etc. Sometimes, an individual may have to think in terms of the greater good instead of their personal gains or benefits. So, whether you should forgive a cheating partner or not will depend on what you feel about the situation. The points discussed above will help you take the most appropriate decision.