Staying Friends With Your Ex: Good Or Bad Idea?

The answer to that is simply – “It’s complicated”. It can be good or bad depending on your specific situation and the equations you share with your ex and other important people in your life. There are many people who would advise you to stay away from your ex and the common logic is that past is past. However, there is no law that states that you should follow this mandatorily. You have the freedom to choose, and if you think it’s okay to be friends with your ex, there is nothing that should stop you.

When to avoid your ex

There may be some specific cases, wherein it is not advisable to be friends with your ex. For example, if you were in a toxic relationship with your ex, it would be better to avoid them altogether. It’s true that people mature with time and get better, but even then it’s better to avoid people who have been abusive to you. If they have really become mature and realized their mistakes, they would never push you to become friends with them again.

Situations when you can be friends with your ex

You are new to a city and suddenly you realize that your ex also lives there. If you two still share a good rapport, there’s no harm in starting a friendship. Your ex can be a friend and help you settle down in the city. They can help you find the right apartment and let you know about the popular restaurants and watering holes in the area. Moreover, just knowing someone in a big city is a great morale booster and it allows you to move around with confidence. Similarly, if you are lonely and not in another relationship, you can be friends with your ex. Being friends with their ex can also be an option for single mothers, who would need all the help they can to provide for the needs of their children.

How to stay friends with your ex

First and foremost, don’t give or expect commitment in the equations you share with your ex. Take things one step at a time and do not start thinking of a future with your ex. It is also important to set boundaries, so that you are aware of what happened in the past and how things tend to get complicated between you and your ex. Last but not least, take this as a new chapter in the book of life and let it flow from there.