Recent movie ‘Kabir Singh’ starring Shahid Kapoor and Kiara Advani in lead roles has sparked an intense debate about the legitimacy of violence in a relationship. While one group feels that some form of violence like a slap may occasionally be okay, others feel that there is no scope for any type of violence in a relationship. So, who is right? Well, both groups are right, as it depends on the specific situation and the comfort level two people share in a relationship. Let’s take a look at few examples to better understand the topic of violence in relationships.
A reflex action: Sometimes, a slap may just be a reflex action without any type of premeditation. Humans are emotional beings and at times, they may be overwhelmed by it. Sometimes, an individual may fail to see beyond their point of view, which may prompt their partner to use force. In such instances, both partners are overwhelmed by their emotions and violence is the natural outcome. What is important is that once the episode is over, both individuals should be able to realizetheir mistakes and work towards improving their relationship.
To save someone from self-destructive behavior: Using force may sometimes be necessary when you are trying to save your partner from self-destructive behavior. For example, if your partner is experiencing an emotional meltdown and is too overwhelmed to listen to your words, there is no other option left but to use force. An individual who is addicted to drugs or alcohol or one who is displaying suicidal tendencies are potential cases that may necessitate some form of violence to save them.
As a form of foreplay: In certain passionate relationships, some form of violence may be a part of foreplay and love making. Sex related violence has been widely documented in the animal world and it’s not very different in case of humans. However, if the violence has become habitual and is resulting in pain and suffering, then it would be a reason to worry.
Whether or not violence is okay in a relationship ultimately depends on how the individuals involved in that relationship feel about it. If a couple is okay with their violent ways, then rest of the world has no business to disagree or criticize. However, being okay with violence should not come from any type of pressure such as financial dependence, societal concerns or safety and future of children. An occasional slap or shove may be okay, as long as it’s not a habitual thing and both partners feel confident about their relationship.